I'm Sorry
by Lilythh
Summary: RedGoth/CurlyGoth hints of KinderGoth/Ike slash involves cutting


_A/N: I don't think there are enough stories for these two. I'm warning you now, I'm not much of a poet._

_Disclaimer: Its on my page_

_**I'm Sorry**_

I looked over at him again, flicking my hair, I think he might have noticed, but didn't really care. We were out the back of the school smoking again when some chick dressed in black skinny jeans and a hoodie came and sat with us.

"Um, What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Henrietta asked the new chick.

"Sittin'," the chick answered in a monotone voice.

"Why are you sitting with us?" Shadow questioned the new girl.

"Cause I can." Henrietta let out a dry laugh.

"What's your name new girl?"

"You can call me Death."

"The little one is Shadow, the girl is Henrietta, she doesn't want to be called by her Goth name, the guy sitting next to me is Thorn and I'm Ash." I flicked my hair.

"Ok."

_**XOXOXOXO**_

_About a month later_

We were sitting in Shadow's bedroom, all the walls were black, there were pictures of various bands and the only light in the room was a few candles. That's when we found out about Shadow's secret.

"Gorgie, there's someone at the door for you," Shadow's mum shouted.

"I'll be back in a minute."

The walls were really thin so we could hear pretty much everything and we were completely silent, so it's no wonder we heard Shadow's conversation with Ike.

"Hey Ike, I forgot you were coming, sorry," Said Shadow.

"It's fine, are you ready?" Was the voice of how we assumed was Ike.

"Um, yeah, just give me a second. I missed you Ike."

"It's only been a day, Gorgie" Ike laughed. We could hear shadow coming up the stairs.

"Um, hey guys, I have to go…somewhere, so you're gonna have to find somewhere else to go," Shadow said.

"Ok, how 'bout we go to yours Death?" Ash asked.

"Um, w-we can't. Mom is having…visitors and didn't want me home tonight."

"We can go to mine," Henrietta suggested, "My parents aren't home so they won't give a fuck." Everyone agreed and we all left, Shadow first running out of the house shouting 'bye' as he ran through the door.

When we got to Henrietta's house we went straight to her room. All the walls were painted black with posters of bands like _Bullet for my Valentine, Escape the Fate _and _From First to Last. _ I lit some candles so it looked kinda like it did in Shadow's room.

Everyone decided on the way over that we would all crash at Henrietta's place. We just sat in her room writing poetry, listening to music or in Death's case flirting with _my _Ash.

"So, Death, what's your real name?" Henrietta asked her. Henrietta knew I liked Ash and trying to get Death to stop flirting with him.

"You don't need to know," she answered with a hint of panic in her voice.

"Leave her alone, if she doesn't feel like telling us yet, she won't," Ash, _my_ Ash, said standing up for her. I pretty much felt my heart break as she leaned in to kiss him and fully felt it break when he kissed back. I knew I couldn't cry though, Goths don't cry. So I settled for writing poetry instead. 

**I'm sorry that I love you**

**I'm sorry that I care**

**I'm sorry I'll wait forever**

**I'm sorry I'll be there**

**I'm sorry for what you mean to me**

**I'm sorry you don't see**

**I'm sorry you made me cry**

**I'm sorry I can't get over you**

**God knows I try**

**I'm sorry I still feel this way**

**I'm sorry I don't hate you **

**For anything you say**

**I'm sorry I will do anything for you**

**Anytime of day**

**I'm sorry for all the bad times**

**I still love you anyway**

**I'm sorry I see the real you when other people don't**

**I'm sorry if you think I'll leave**

**Just know I won't**

**I'm sorry I'm still in love with you**

**Even if you love someone else**

**I****'m sorry for all of this**

**I'm sorry once again **

**I think that I'm finished now **

**Wait there's one more thing**

**Most of all I'm sorry **

**That you picked her over me**

I flicked my hair in annoyance. That was the worst piece of poetry I've ever written. What is heartbreak doing to me?

"I going to the bathroom," I announced getting to my feet. When I got to the bathroom I was close to tears. Fuck my heart hurts! I looked down to look at the counter when I noticed something shine; Henrietta's razor. Maybe I could make the psychical pain worse than the emotional pain and maybe I'll forget the emotional pain. I put the blade on my skin and cut deep long gashes across my wrist. The crimson blood ran down my wrist and started dripping onto the floor.

Then I heard laughing. I pulled my sleeve down to cover the cuts and walked back into Henrietta's room. Then I noticed what Death was laughing about. The bitch was looking through my poetry book. I ran into the room grabbed the book and ran. I ran all the way home not stopping once until I reached my neighborhood. I took my phone out of my pocket and saw I had 7 missed calls from Henrietta 3 from Ash and 1 from Death. It started to ring again this time from Ash. I pressed the end button and turned it off. I walked inside and started up the stairs before my mom noticed I was home.

"Oh, Josh! I thought you were staying at one of your little friends houses'," my mom said walking over and hugging me.

"Yeah, I didn't feel good so I decided to come home," I lied flicking my hair out of my eyes.

"Oh, that's no good. Would you like me to make you some soup, honey?"

"No thanks mom, I'm fine, I'm just gonna go to bed."

"Good night dear."

"Night mom," said walking upstairs to the bathroom. By the time I got there the tears were already running down my face. I found mom's razor and cut myself again, before I went to bed.

_**XOXOXOXOXO**_

"Josh! Someone's on the phone for you!!" my mother screeching was the first thing I heard Sunday morning. The door flew open and mom calmly gave me the phone.

"Hello?" I asked uncertainly. One finger on the end button in case it was Death or Ash.

"_Thorn? It's Henrietta. Please don't hang up."_

"What do you want?" I asked angrily flicking my hair out of my eyes.

"_Calm the fuck down, I have great news," _she said in a monotone voice that implied that the news wasn't that great.

"What is it?"

"_Well, I followed 'Death' home last night and I found out who she really is…"_

"Who is she?"

"_You'll never believe this…Wendy Testabitch"_

"Really? Who else have you told?"

"_You and Gorgie. Tyler isn't answering his phone."_

"Why don't you call us by our Goth names, Darkness?"

"_You fucking wish. I gotta go. Talk to you Monday"_

"Whatever. Bye." When I pressed the end button I noticed all the cuts on my arm and what happened last night hit me full force. Death- Wendy- read my poetry and probably told Ash. Now he knows I like him and he probably hates me. I'M ACTING LIKE A FUCKING CONFORMIST GIRL!!!!! Snap out of it Thorn! I didn't have a clock in my room so I turned my phone on to check the time when I was bombarded with missed calls. And one text.

**Gay Freak! I cant believe u lyk me! That's disgusting! U shuld just f-ing kill urself! I wuldnt care nd I dun think any1 else wuld either. **

That did it. I ran into the bathroom found my moms razor and cut as deep as I could. I knew I hit a vain and a few minutes later everything went black.

_**XOXOXOXOXO**_

I woke in a room _way _to bright to be mine. I could hear some sort of machine beeping next to me.

"J-Josh?! Are y-you awake, honey?!" My mothers' panicked voice came from beside me.

"M-mom? Where a-am I?" my voice was hoarse and my throat hurt. As the words left my mouth my mothers' petite body crashed onto mine in a hug.

"Oh Josh, Honey! You're awake! You've been in a coma for four days!" mom's voice shrieked.

"Ow. Mom. Headache."

"Sorry, honey." Mom finally let go of me to see who entered the room. It was Henrietta, shadow and…Ike Broflovski. Henrietta ran over to hug me while Ike and Shadow stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"Sorry we're late we had to visit…Death," Henrietta said. My mom looked between me and Henrietta before mumbling something about eating and left.

"What do you mean pay a visit to death?"

"We saw the message Ash," air quotation marks, "sent you. Do you really think he would ever fucking say anything like that?! I was even saying before you got that message that he wasn't answering his phone. Turns out that bitch Wendy had it. He went to her house to get it off her and when he went in she was doing her make-up and wearing conformist clothes. He was practically blinded by the pinkness of her room. He told her she wasn't aloud to come near us anymore when he saw the message she sent you."

"Did you even breathe then?" I asked. Before she could answer we heard Ash down the hall shouting at a doctor.

"Ash! We're in here!" Shadow shouted poking his head out the door. Within a couple of seconds Ash was in the room hugging me. I had never seen him like that before. He was asking so many questions and talking to fast. He looked like such a…conformist. He was worrying. About me.

"Ash. Ash! Ash! Tyler!" that got his attention, "I'm fine. Really."

"I thought I'd lost- wait no. That sounds too conformist. There's not really any non-conformist way to say this _I though my black heart could not feel, until I met you. You are my life, you keep my dead heart beating, and you make this world bearable. I know you feel this way too, but I feel the need to say I love you." _ When he finished he kissed me.

_**XOXOXOXOXO**_

_Did you like it?? This pairing needs more love =)_

_I warned you I'm not very good at poetry._

_Can you please, please, please review?? _

_I mean you don't have to if you don't want to, _

_I'm just asking. =)_

_Love you all_

_Lilyth xoxo_

_p.s. I'm taking requests for stories because I've got that much free time. Haha. If there is anything you want me to write put it in your review. It doesn't have to be a south park story if you don't want it to be. But anyway, I'm taking suggestions. =)_


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